My boy friend, Sam, & I have officially lived together a year! Last St Patrick’s Day we had our housewarming for our first apartment & this St Patricks Day were having our second for our first house! So I wanted to do a full post about moving in and living with Sam! When I do Q&A’s on Instagram, I get asked a lot of questions about Sam as well as what its like living together. SO I wanted to do a full post that also includes a little about our story.
Before Living Together
I moved to Austin about 3 years ago & Sam moved here with his parents about 4 years ago. We met at work & started dating shortly after. It seemed like everyone we knew was moving in with their significant other or getting engaged. So it made us think about it. (The best relationship advice I can give besides openly communicate is to NEVER compare your relationship to anyone else’s or to any of your relationships in the past.) It was a little after dating a year when we talked about it and agreed when my current lease was up that we would look for another place for both of us.
Planning
Around the time I had to give my notice for my apartment, I asked Sam if he still wanted to move in together & he said yes. So before we even found a place we sorted out all of the details & talked about things that most couples/couples we know fight about. I also can’t recommend that enough, establishing “guidelines” & the “tough” stuff to get it out of the way. We discussed everything from the little things like dishes to big things like paying bills. I have a little pet peeve that the kitchen cabinets need to be shut (I don’t know why, I just have to shut them if they’re open) & I keep all cleaning supplies out of sight: I keep dish soap & sponges under the sink. But I told him We agreed that everything is 50/50 & that’s generally what we stick to now. I obviously shop more than Sam & don’t apply the 50/50 to all of the decor & stuff I buy. I transferred my existing utilities to the new apartment so they were in my name and he works for AT&T so we put the TV & internet in his name for the discount. We opened a joint checking account for the bills to come out of & we only use that account for our joint bills & purchases. I also can’t recommend the joint account for bill enough. It makes things so much easier & more convenient. We have similar taste so we decided to just use all of my furniture in my apartment, bring his bed (he’s 6’8″ so we have to have a California King) & desk, & then we would get some new things. We had to get a washer & dryer so we ordered that. Then, I discovered All Modern/Wayfair & we found a new coffee table, patio set & bed frame. We agreed to run things by each other (again, prevents issues from occurring!) so before we even signed the lease, I ran to target and bought an all new comforter, curtains, decor, bathroom rugs, shower curtain, shower rugs, & what ended up being three additional boxes to pack (LOL!). I also picked up a Calendar & Schedule Pad from Erin Condren to make schedules & grocery lists easier.
Finding an Apartment
We looked online at a couple of different options. We both decided on the area, 2 bedrooms so we’d had have enough room & could use 1 as an office, & a yard for a dog. I also had my own criteria: walk in closet & kitchen with a pantry & island. We found the perfect apartment. At the time I had banking hours & he had retail hours so I mainly worked 8-5 and he worked 12-9 so we saw the apartment at different times, but still loved it. It was off the tollway, close to his work, & it was close to HEB (Texas grocery store), Target, a mall, movie theatre, & close by where I like to shop. It was a good center point for both of us.
Moving In
My dad’s a professional mover & I’ve moved every year since 2012. (YUP that frequently!) So moving was easy logistic wise. The apartment we viewed was a show apartment so our apartment ended up being a little bit too small for us & our furniture.
Living Together
Living together has been easier than most expect when living with a significant other. I lived with my best friend and her husband for over a year and I’ve had other friends and coworkers who also complained about their significant others so I kinda picked up a lot of things from them prior to moving in with Sam. I love living with Sam. We’re both respectful of each other – I don’t expect him to pick up after me & vise versa. As long as he doesn’t walk into a pink living room then he’s fine (and now used to constant) changes in our house decor. We both do our own thing & even though we live together we’re not all over each other.
What I’ve learned & Tips
1. Communication & Compromising.
In every relationship, you need to communicate & living together isn’t any different. It’s actually probably more important that you communicate more when living together. Don’t let things build up. What I’ve learned from friends and coworkers is not to assume and don’t let things build up. If your open and honest then there shouldn’t be a reason to fight. To this day & almost three years later, Sam & I have never been in a fight (knock on wood). We openly communicate & compromise when needed.
2. He’s a boy.
One of the biggest things to keep in mind if you’re moving in with your boyfriend is to remember that you are living with a boy. Don’t expect him to instantly pick up things or think that he needs to do the dishes if he sees a sink full of dirty dishes. Most guys don’t instinctively think of it (unless they’re clean freaks). If I want help with dishes or cleaning, then I just ask Sam & he does it. I told Sam that I hate taking out the trash so he always does it & I appreciate it. Since I was used to living alone I’m used to doing the cooking & most of the cleaning (& don’t really mind it). But he’ll always ask if I need help & help me with what I never need.
3. Alone Time & Personal Space
Too much of any person can cause tension. We both do our own thing. I study or work on my blog and he plays video games.
4. Planning
As stated above, planning is important. We have our designated areas. When we moved in to the apartment and when we moved in to the house, before there was any furniture, we decided who gets what. We divided shelves, drawers, closet space, & offices.
5. GET TWO BATHROOMS.
Our only complaint about our apartment was that we needed another bathroom. If you’re on the same eating schedule then you’re on the same bathroom schedule. If we worked at the same time then we would have to coordinate a bathroom routine. We made it work but it was more inconvenient than anything. Get at least 1.5 bathrooms & I promise you that you’ll thank me later.
Living together is definitely the biggest compatibility test – in my opinion. It’s a big step in any relationship & you should only move in together if you both feel ready. In any case, plan everything out before you move in together. Always communicate. Compromise when needed. & have fun decorating!
