Three classes down. Three more years to go. A dry sense of humor is how I cope. I have officially submitted my final paper for my third course, Advanced Graduate Academic Writing & Research, and today is the last day of this session. Tomorrow I begin my fourth class, Conceptual Foundation of Economics. Another 8-week session, and then I have my first real break from school since my doctoral program started in May.
I have been asked frequently how my doctoral program is going. All I ever manage to say is “It’s a lot” or “It’s going.” It’s primarily because it’s hard to provide a short response that sums up all of the emotions and thoughts going through my head over the past 24 weeks. It’s hard to describe the feeling of constantly being overwhelmed and experiencing anxiety that you never knew you had. There have been multiple times where I considered quitting because the workload just felt so overbearing. It’s also extremely hard to find solace when your program’s Cohort started with 15 people and is now down to 7 before the third class is officially over.
I did a Q&A Video on YouTube after my first semester ended and tried my best to highlight my struggles during my first semester. After this course, I feel that I am either adapting or finding a method that works to balance work, school, blogging, and personal life. So I thought I would write my first real blog post in a while and start a series that we are going to call “State of the Doctoral Program” (instead of SOTU) where I will report on the progress in my doctoral program as well as insights and tips.
Compartmentalize & Prioritize.
On the overwhelming days, I compartmentalize. It’s easy to get off track when you’re not focused or when you feel like there is just so much to do but don’t know where to start. So, I prioritize and then reset my focus.
Realistic Plans.
Schedule breaks. Not just a 15-minute water break. Days. This semester, I set days each week where I worked on coursework and stuck to it for the most part. If you stick to it, then you will have time to relax and do other things. You have to be realistic. If you are working on the same paper every day, you’re wearing yourself out and fast. Trust me, I did that the first semester.
Support from the Cohort/Peers.
I am lucky to have supportive friends and family. However, my parents are foreigners and still don’t fully understand what a doctoral program entails – they also don’t fully understand what a dissertation is (but we’re getting there). So it’s hard to discuss my program with them, but like with anything else, it’s always nice to have support from those going through what you are going through. Just like at work – you have a best work friend that you complain to. Our program is a Cohort model, and luckily we have bonded over residency this summer. We’re all in the same boat, and we have each other to lean on. From what I have experienced, if you are having self-doubt or troubles with the workload in your program, you’re probably not alone. Our Cohort has a Slack where we vent and check in on each other, and it helps to speak with them – even If it’s just a meme – when I’m starting to feel stressed.
Connections.
If you don’t have a Cohort in your program or just don’t like your peers, there are so many doctoral candidates’ Instagram pages that are very motivating to follow. I started an Instagram page @laplansdba for that reason. I follow graduate students (primary doctoral) that share helpful study tips and resources. It’s a great outlet to find some positivity when you need it.
Distractions.
Obviously, block out distractions while you’re working on your paper or reading, but on the days that you take breaks, find a distraction so that you don’t think about class. This was actually amazing advice from my fiancé. After days where I’m stressed out or feeling overwhelmed, I relax and distract myself. So once a week or every other week, I lay down in bed (or on the couch) with Mera, put on Scooby-Doo (a childhood favourite), and watch an episode or two. Or I’ll play a game. Now that the weather is cooler and Mera is starting to heel from her surgery, I will probably take her for walks. I’m sure there’s a psychological reason. Still, these small intentional distractions help calm me down, and it feels like a mental break.
Mindset.
Mindset is everything. Whenever you start feeling self-doubt or overwhelmed pause. I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to take a moment. Take a deep breath. Get some coffee (or wine). Then process your thoughts. Ask yourself what you need to do to accomplish what you are currently working on and how you will get there. Suppose you’re in a place where you want to quit. I know it’s cliche but ask yourself why you started. Ask yourself if you quit now, then what will you say tomorrow when someone asks you if you quit.
If you feel like the answer is legitimate and you won’t regret quitting in five years or even one, then do it. I understand why the peers in my Cohort who quit did what they did. There was a new mom in the military who did not have the time right now. There was an entrepreneur where the course load took a serious toll on his mental health—all legitimate reasons to drop.
However, if you’re like me when I answer that question, I don’t have a legitimate reason to quit. I started my doctoral program now because it’s the best point in my life to do so before we decide to start a family. I know that if I quit now, I’ll regret it because the challenges I need to overcome are personal habits that need to change or my mindset. My biggest complaint has been that it’s not the concepts. It’s the workload. So it’s not that I can’t do it, it’s because I’m in the mindset of “I don’t want to do it.” So I need to find a way to manage the workload and just do it. Which thankfully, I feel like I did during this session. So now I will see in the upcoming session if I set a realistic routine for all my classes. In no way am I saying that I have it all figured out. I definitely don’t, but I overcame all of the obstacles to this point. Although navigating through that has been extremely difficult, it’s definitely worth it because I’m one official step closer to my biggest goal.
Celebrate.
With all of that comes the biggest lesson that I have learned and one that I have seen repeated repeatedly. Celebrate every milestone. It doesn’t have to be huge but do something. Get a new pair of shoes, take the day off to get a manicure, go to dinner with friends, something. It’s important to celebrate the wins, and it’s also motivating and something to look forward to when you finish a paper, finish a class, etc.